Life as a Class Struggle

More Lasts

2009-05-13T13:16:27Z

Last all-nighter of undergraduate. Last crazy 20+ hour study bender. Last final.

First and last time washing myself in the library bathrooms.

Last study break cafe Q trip with Ahra. :-(

East University Parkway Revelations

2009-05-08T06:46:46Z

It hit. I was walking across East University on the way to the library thinking about when I was going to start working again at Mt. Vernon Stable that it really hit home. It is coming to an end. This is it. Fin. I was thinking that Cassie will be peacing out, and going back to the west coast pretty much right after graduation. Sarah will be in DC. Ben in Boston. Jersey is going to eat a bunch of them. I still don't know what I am doing.. but I know that I am going to make it work where I can hang around for a while after I get finished.

My smoking buddies will still be around after I am done. That should be interesting. Ha.

Andrew and I have even started talking and even reminiscing a little which is kind of strange. I guess it isn't that weird considering he and I have spent the last 4 years living together. That even had a little bite when I said it. I can't believe it has been 4 years. Existential Crisis.

I left off on Cinco de Drinko. I ended up just going to sleep and not really getting anything accomplished. I woke up late, but just in time to get to tutorial project for graduation. We kind of just hung out until the ceremony started. Rashad was pretty well behaved except for when I went up to get his tutoring tails and I don't really know what happened. I feel like I have had him for longer than one semester. Supposedly, he told Tiffany that he was going to fail 5th grade so that he could have me as a tutor again. Even though I don't know if it was true or not I am going to operate under the assumption that it he actually said it.

I went and found Mark so that we could get ready to go downtown for SAC final dinner. It ultimately ended up being only Rezzo and Rose. I am glad that Rose and Mark could make it. The board has lost a lot of the cohesion that it had when it first started. It is weird how much I really did enjoy doing something that push comes to shove is really thankless and kind of tedious. I really didn't like missing the meetings. Oceanaire was really good. The waiter was excellent. I should have picked up some tips from him besides how long it took him. The conversation was a little awkward, but not bad for people that I really don't know that well outside of business. I got a singapore slinger, because it was in the same theme of the 1940's as the rest of the restaurant. I felt pretty baller when I just threw down my card to pay the bill, even though I was getting reimbursed.

Then. Study bender. It was probably one of the more intense study benders that I can remember in the past year or so. I studied literally until about the hour before everything started. I think they both went pretty well. I actually think that micro might have gone even better than IME. It really just depends if I was close enough on the quantitative answers to do well enough in both of them. Either way. I AM DONE WITH UNDERGRADUATE ECONOMICS.... (and E&M less importantly). Its been a good department. Glad I found it.

Now time for another library bender for the developmental biology final. Blah. I guess January and February will come when I do a review of the last semester after I am done with studying. Probably a low key next couple of days.

Me: I am about to get let loose. I am gonna ravage the countryside
Dan: hahaha ahhh shit. Mothers lock up your sons.

Promises

2009-01-30T08:17:00Z

I promise. I swear. I still have new entries coming because I really don't want this Liverjournal that has been at least some part of my life to die, especially since I find my memory of my own life fading.

Note to self:

I need to make my mistakes more a part of me. I need to completely get my sense of humor back. It got me through a lot.

Copy Paste

2008-10-31T07:06:18Z

If I were a normal person there would be only one thing missing in my life.

Coming Soon

2008-10-06T06:19:52Z

I have an epic entry that's been a long time a comin'.

I am a terrible person.

2008-08-10T07:47:43Z

So I have also decided I don't know if I like the job but I NEED the validation.

MB with a driver, open bar hours, fellow aspiration treadmillers, the clothes, the apartments, the lights, the everything.

I want it all, so I can make other people feel bad about it.

Convince me.

2008-08-10T07:44:02Z

So this is what I am telling myself.

Conservative, racist, over tanned, Jersey trash.

6 months later

2008-08-02T23:00:21Z

Holy shit;...

I have a terrible sinking feeling in my stomach.

2008-01-27T06:04:39Z

This situation and semester are going to be a quick, alcohol fueled descent into absolute madness.

1410. Columbus sailed the ocean blue

2008-01-19T08:11:46Z

I didn't put nearly enough time into my applications that I sent out today. I guess I would be upset if I didn't think most of the applications were a total farce. I will write more tomorrow when I am more sober.

All this talk of how transient it all is

2008-01-18T06:23:58Z

I guess this is how I am coming back to LiveJournal. I realized that I hadn't really written anything real in this journal in a very long time. I don't really want it to die because I always forget how long I have had it. I really think that considering my memory is starting to falter on the events of earlier college that I should start journalizing more if I want to be able to remember some of the more pertinent things so I don't repeat the same mistakes of the past... which I find myself doing more and more.

I rang in the New Years with the Blake, Garret, Erik and Landon and it was a lot of fun. I ended up talking into my shoe and belt thinking I was still continuing to the epic hour long drunk dialing session that I had initiated. It was overall a good night and will hopefully be the last time that we spend it in that apartment because everyone will turn 21. My writing has gotten pretty horrible and so I guess it is probably best that I have picked up the journal again because it is good practice.

The rest of my time at home was pretty uneventful. I got my wisdom teeth removed and basically laid around in the basement drinking smoothies and watching Arrested Development for the umpteenth time.

Back to Hopkins for what I thought would be a fun intersession. However, everyone is either not around or is studying for the MCAT and I am kept too busy with work and my class. I had to kind of improvise the business casual dress code making for some interesting wardrobe decisions for the past two weeks.

However, I finally broke down and bought my first suit. In addition, I have decided that I either want to go into Investment Banking or private equity, or take an actually relaxing year off and then go back to medical school. I head to New York City on an alumni meet and greet in a few days and then after that I can finally settle in for what will hopefully be a better semester.

I have some time to make up for at Hopkins. People to meet. Stupid things to do. Scores to bring up. Let's hope this year is better than the last. I am going to do my best to make it so.

I just don't understand why.

2007-12-20T10:52:41Z

I don't understand. I have lost a little more of three weeks of my life and it still isn't over. I just want to not have to study anymore. Just for a little.

God why can't this just be over so I can live again.

Hoping the library closes.

2007-12-10T02:50:52Z

I make really terrible decisions; like putting faith in strangers and not my friends.

I really hope that I get my cubicle back from the end of last semester. It doesn't seem like it was so shitty last time. Again, that is probably because I just have a bad memory.

Sleep

2007-11-18T11:15:10Z

I really can't fall asleep anymore unless it is light out.

I had forgotten.

2007-11-04T09:47:10Z

I never realized until now how long in comparison I have had this Livejournal. I am going on 5 years now. It is funny how bad my writing was 5 years ago. It is even funnier how little I have improved it(sic).

animeme @ 2007-10-05T17:47:00

2007-10-05T21:51:14Z

Wait just a minute. Nothing is really going to change, I won't be any happier or more fulfilled.

This shit is ridiculous. I mean really that was all I needed, something else to make me feel inadequate, cowardly, and stupid.

Everyone else was let free, they got put back in jail.

2007-10-05T21:37:34Z

3 tests on Monday, 1 on Wednesday and a looming personal goal. This week is going to be ugly. I wonder how often I will come across a situation where everything is going to change, and I can't really know if I am going to be ready to take on the challenge.

I'll just do it the rest of my life.

2007-08-30T03:03:36Z

This was most probably one of the worst ones.

animeme @ 2007-07-12T01:46:00

2007-07-12T05:49:40Z

I want to embed some media. I want to have time for all those stupid applications and unnecessary stuff but I just sit here.

National Pasttimes

2007-06-30T03:06:03Z

I like to writhe and pitch to really gritty, noisy, distorted rock music.

Before he was killed the warehouse merchant hid his wares, and only the werewolf wearing silver knows where. Vamp Vamp Vamp. That dirty shewolf tramp. She'll suckya dry, she's a sucka for suckas. Tramp Tramp Tramp. That dirty shewolf vamp.

The thing being acted upon.

2007-06-22T02:47:23Z

It is bubbling right below the surface. What is going to happen?

What does a life full of foreshadowing look like exactly?

I usually don't do things that are this stereotypical

Guilford

2007-05-25T04:36:51Z

How is this all going to play out?

I hope I realize in lots of places.

Sometimes I think written snippets contain layers of meaning to us individually.
"Holy shit, I am driving."
-Blake Tyra

Her favorite pastime was telling stories with pronouns and no antecedents.

animeme @ 2007-05-04T04:30:00

2007-05-04T08:35:01Z

I look like hell.

I have been sitting two stories below ground in a tiny room and cubicle for about 41 of the last 48 hours of my life. I leave to take exams and nap.

Spirits guide you to the ghetto in a dingy city light

2007-04-29T08:22:39Z

Words discover the cracks and dents when the storm batters the windows. Cliches squirm in wet wood pulled from the frame. Moments rupture from the apholstery. Sleep on the floor, wake in the morning wet with urine and feeling like you hadn't slept at all.

Let's all throw a party, a grand party.
Where we all dance a bit, to beats, to melodys, to words contrived.
Let's all drink a little, a little high top.
Where we all emotionally drunk sit, and argue, and ask ourselves.

About what ugly we have become, what tragedy we are.

Let's all self medicate.
Yeah. lets all self medicate, till we bottom out, face up, and build ourselves whole again.

I figured everyone will be doing this...

2007-04-27T22:28:36Z

I will be in Louisville from sometime on May 15th - May20th.